jon mark

so i now have a “new” instrument in the house…my first piano. it was a Father’s Day gift for me. i cannot adequately describe how God provided this, but He did. and i’m going to do all that i can to use it for for Him!

by far this instrument is the BIGGEST i have ever owned…and the OLDEST! based on the information i have been able to gather so far, it was hand crafted in Holland, MI by the Farrand Piano Company. the originated in 1883 in Detroit, later changing its name and moving to Holland in 1897! according to the serial number, it was built in late 1920 or early 1921…now that’s OLD! this of course means it has plenty of scratches, dings, water marks, missing pins…and it needs some tender love and care. but don’t we all!

here is the move…let’s just say he knew what he was doing!

my two kidddos absolutely LOVE IT…which might be is so much more of a gift to me than the piano itself! this morning cooper was up at 5:00am and molly at 6:00am…the concert had started by 6:05am when i opened up the keyboard for them!

thank you Lord for…

my “new” instrument!

this is a common thought among people who think about suicide, attempt suicide, or even commit suicide. it’s the idea that those closest to us deserve more than what they have in us. and this thought has been going around and around in my head for the last week, or more specifically since my cousin’s memorial service this past monday. at some point during that service, this thought was shared as being something my cousin joel had considered…

they deserve better…

usually this thought comes to mind when we’ve been caught in the midst of something that we aren’t so proud of. or maybe we’re being reminded of something that we have done in the past. you know, when you just happen to run into that person or you drive by that one place, and things you had worked so hard to forget are thrown right back in your face. still there are other times when this thought comes to mind because of what others are saying about, or doing to, us. maybe it’s even something that others are putting us through? regardless, this thought can come to mind rather quickly…

they deserve better…

i can remember days passed when i would sit and hold my son in his room, rocking him. satan would start to consume my thoughts with things of the past, both distant and NOT-s0-distant. my rocking would get faster, my grip on cooper would get firmer, and the tears would begin flowing. this specific thought came to my head over and over again, until i had enough. at that point i just began to pray over cooper that he would not be like his daddy…that he would grow up to be so much more…that he wouldn’t make those same poor decisions that daddy made…that God would use him to do amazing things for His kingdom!

fortunately God got a hold of me after this had happened a few times. through various means He was able to remind me of how much i mean to Him and that i truly am His. God reminded me of His grace and mercy, not to mention the unconditional love that only He can offer. God used two beautiful smiles (my kidddos) to remind me of how much i have to live for and to look forward to. He showed me that He was not done with me by any means.

but i will say that even today i truly believe…

they deserve better…

as i’ve thought about this so much in the past few days, it has become very evident to me that kasey, molly, and cooper really do deserve better. they deserve a man who is living more like Christ each and every day. they deserve a man who is loving and serving them more like Christ each and every day. they deserve a better ME. because when it comes down to it, if God wanted them to have someone else who is better…He would’ve given them someone else. but He didn’t, He gave then ME.

the same is true for YOU. God loves YOU more than you can even comprehend! He offers grace and mercy that is new to YOU every single day. and God has placed YOU right where you are. He’s surrounded YOU with family and friends, no matter how numerous or few…and they all deserve better…a better YOU!

so if you are reading this and identifying with it, i have a request of you…TODAY do all you can to be a better you. love people more, smile more, give that extra hug, say “i love you”, take every chance you have to serve others, just give more of YOU to those around you. then after today is done…wake up tomorrow and ask God to help you do that same thing all over again, just a little better.

if you need someone to vent to, feel free to leave a comment (anonymous makes a great name if you want!)…or shoot me an e-mail jonmarkmusic@gmail.com …maybe you have been there and want to share what has gotten you through times like this or thoughts similar to this one! maybe you aren’t thinking anything close to this, just be sure that someone around you is. so join in and do this very same thing.

they deserve better…

a better ME…a better YOU!

so a week ago i got a phone call that i was not ready for in any way, shape, or form! my 32 yr old cousin Joel Preston McKanna had taken his own life. i really had no idea what to say or do in that moment. and i have to say that a week later, the feeling is pretty much the same! he was married with three amazing little girls who were 6, 4, and 2. he was a hard worker, a thinker, a debater, a son, a brother…and the list goes on.

we went down for a memorial service on monday. it was a long drive there and back! it was good to see family for the first time since Christmas. some had come all the way from TX and IL. but as it was stated that night, “the circumstances suck”! there were pictures of joel and different memorabilia of his as we walked in. my favorite of course was his guitar. i can remember sitting up in our uncle joe’s old room at the farm, as he showed me that new guitar he had gotten. he shared all of the new tricks he was learning on it.

then i saw his three little girls sitting with their aunt stephanie. (well, two of the sat, penelope didn’t really stay in any spot for very long!) joel loved them more than anything in the world and seemed to pour his whole life into them. the little time that i got to spend with them monday night made that very evident.

penelope and i got to play ball and spend some time together. (prior to monday i hadn’t really seen her more than a hand full of times.) but at one point she came running to me like she knew exactly who i was. i swept her up in my arms and she said, “you’re not my daddy”. i had to pull myself together at that point! we went on playing. she even wanted to tackle me right there in the middle of the room. having a 2 yr old of my own made it much easier for me to give in and play along. i even had to eat some of her roll at the dinner following the service.

my heart continues to be heavy, as are my prayers for family. i couldn’t get upset this morning when cooper came in at 5:15am and molly was up at 5:45am…i just held them on the couch. all i could think of was the three little girls that were going back to school this morning. daddy isn’t there to get them ready and on their way.

so i beg you to pray for heather as she cares for and raises sophia, chloe, and penelope on her own. i pray that God protects them and provides for them. i pray that He wraps His loving arms around them and even lets them tackle Him!  i pray for my aunt, uncle, and cousin as they move on as well. i pray that God brings them comfort and healing that only He can bring.

let there be NO doubt…

suicide…SUCKS!

so i beg you today, if you are anywhere close to thinking of suicide…TALK to someone until they listen! find a friend, a pastor, a counselor and TALK…know that there is a God who created you and loves you more than anything. and no matter where you are, no matter what you have done, or even what you are doing…He wants to wrap His arms around you and will be more than happy to listen to every last word you have to tell Him. He will even let you tackle Him and wrestle with Him!

let there be NO doubt…

suicide…SUCKS!